Humility & Confidence

 

Last night, it occurred to me to ask God for more humility and more confidence.  As I prayed, I realized how lacking I was in both.  It seemed like a strange contradiction.  How could a proud person lack confidence?–or an insecure person, humility?

But then I began to understand that a person cannot have true confidence unless he is first humble, nor can he be truly humble unless he first has confidence.

True humility and true confidence always and must go together, like two sides of a coin.  We only run into problems when one or the other is false–or if both are!

So concerning false confidence:  It leads to two things.  The first (pride) is obvious.  The second (insecurity) may not be as evident.

First things first.  To even begin testing our confidence requires that we find out where we’re staking it.  Where do we find our identity, our worth, our sense of meaning and purpose? 

Many people would say, “Myself.”  But,  if I base my confidence ultimately on myself–my talents, abilities, possessions, relationships, reputation, achievements, and so on–then, I will have to look down just a little on those who are less talented, less able, less wealthy, less popular, less accomplished, and so on. 

False confidence fuels self-righteousness because it stakes our every excuse for existing and our every reason for mattering on attitudes and behaviors meant to be self-justifying.

Ironically, the way of self-justification, self-righteousness, and self-confidence also leads to a profound insecurity.  You see, if my confidence is based ultimately on myself, then I have to feel just a little insecure, for time and chance happens to us all, moth and rust touches all things, and life is often unpredictable and uncontrollable, blind to justice, and cruel at least as often as it is kind. 

What will become of my confidence if my family abandons me, my friends forsake me, my lover betrays me?–if I lose my possessions?–if my honor is poisoned?–if accident or disease robs me of my independence and usefulness to society?  What if I find myself a homeless beggar on the streets, impoverished and needy, and at the mercy of an uncaring world?  What if random sickness ravages my body and mind until I am but a quivering skeleton wasting away on a lonely bed of pain?  What if?

These sufferings are solemn indeed, and not necessarily distant from us.  Still, the person who bases his confidence on the manifold perfections of Christ can say in all circumstances, “It is well with my soul, for I am a child of the living God, and hope will not disappoint me because my God is faithful.”  What other choice does weak Man have in a bewildering universe save to hold on to the God who saves, or (as Job’s wife urged) to curse God and die?

When we base our identity, worth, and sense of purpose and meaning on the righteousness and justification of Jesus Christ, then we can be fully and truly confident (because Christ is fully and truly sufficient in all perfections).  And then, we must also be fully and truly humble as we realize how wholly insufficient and utterly sinful we are before God, who is love, and who is holy, holy, holy.

When we see how low Christ has condescended Himself for our sakes–God come down from Heaven to earth as man, no less!–then how can we condescend on anyone else, who is a sinner like ourselves, and for whom Christ has also come to redeem by His death and Resurrection?

Now, how can a person be humble, yet arrogant? 

First things first.  What does true humility require?  I suppose it requires a recognition of one’s weakness, neediness, and dependency on something or someone other than oneself.

There is a false way of fulfilling this requirement, as well as a true way.  The false way leads to two distortions in looking.  First, false humility makes you look down on yourself until you are so overwhelmed by your lackings that you deem yourself irredeemable.  Second, false humility makes you look only on yourself so that you miss seeing the grace of God in Jesus Christ.  In your wretched, self-focused false humility, you miss the salvation being held out to you in open, nail-pierced hands.

You see, this kind of humility is really pride in sheep’s clothing, for when you are saying with your mouth, “No Lord, I am too unworthy to be saved,” you are actually saying in your heart, “No, Lord, even You cannot save me.  You are neither gracious nor able enough to forgive and redeem my unworthiness.”  In your false humility, you are hoarding power in your own crestfallen weakness, instead of allowing the strength of God to lift you up as His child, as His Son was lifted up on the Cross for you.

True humility, therefore, does require recognizing the weakness of your being and the darkness of your sins, but it also requires recognizing the power of Christ’s might and the radiance of His glorious grace. 

To be human is to be limited.  To be humble is to recognize that the Divine is unlimited.  To be arrogant is to limit the Divine with limited human estimations and appropriations.  To be confident is to know the unlimited love of the gracious God.

And the gracious God knows our limitations.  Jesus took on our humanity and understands all the affiliated afflictions.  Therefore, let us go to the throne of grace with confidence and ask Jesus to give us true humility, true confidence, and true love for Him who loves us and makes all things (even these) possible.

Tags: Christ, confidence, humility, insecurity, pride