Weak & Foolish

“Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” – Psalm 126:5

I am going to seminary in six months.  Three months ago, I made a list of 10 reasons why I should not go to seminary.  One of the items on my list was this: An M.Div. would draw me into deeper and more direct ministry in the church.  In other words: I’m afraid to serve God, because His people can be mean and may drive me bananas.

To be clear, my goals are to teach, not to pastor.  Furthermore, I envision myself serving God by lecturing to students in a climate-controlled classroom, not preaching on the streets in freezing rain.  Still, a seminary education is a real blessing, and I would be perverse to think that I could receive such a magnificent gift without giving anything back.

Mind you, I believe that every Christian is called to ministry.  But more so than others, some ministries will shove you right into the limelight of scrutiny; others will drive you up a pedestal that will only expose your feet of clay.

A close friend of mine from Amherst once told me about her pious mother, who would walk miles just to pray at her church in Korea.  So what did this faithful woman pray for?  All sorts of things–one of them being that God would spare her the burden of marrying a deacon (because deacons work too hard and are criticized too much).  God honored her request.  My friend is a pastor’s kid.

Let’s not pretend here.  When I think about subjecting myself to concentrated spiritual attack and human judgment, raw fear chokes my heart and I die a little inside.  My other afflictions: insecurity, apathy, loneliness, and sheer laziness.  Oh, and vanity. 

My ego smarts whenever someone tells me (or tells my parents) that I am only wasting my education, talents, and potential.  “What a shame,” they would say in low, lamenting tones.

Others point out my liabilities: I am young, naive, and female.  I am an ethnic minority in this country.  I have very limited material resources.  My life experiences are few and provincial.  There is nothing striking about my looks or voice or posture or bearing.  Who is going to take me seriously?  Who is going to trust me?  Why should anyone care?

Actually, I agree completely with my detractors.  Why should the world owe me anything for being alive–or for having “noble” ambitions?  Who am I, anyway?  An air of entitlement is as unbecoming as severe halitosis.  I try to avoid both.

However, throughout the history of the Bible and of the church, God has always chosen the weak and foolish things of the world to display His power and wisdom.  This brings me hope.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Christian ministry is a ministry of suffering.  That said, there is much joy to be had as well.  I must not be blind to either.

When I think of the Cross, I see suffering, shame, sorrow, and unspeakable loss.  However, in the center of that despair, I also see the greatest and most joyous hope, glory, and victory ever to grace mankind. 

At the heart of the Cross is the intersection of God’s paradoxical promise: that those who die with Christ shall also rise with Him, and that those who rise with Him shall also live with Him.  Of His own death, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24). 

Out of the blood and tears and sweat of Christ, who labored in pain on the Cross for us, we were delivered from sin like infants born again into new Life!

It is foolish to have rosy expectations about ministry.  However, it is even more foolish not to.

There are no quick fixes or shortcuts or easy ways out for those who hope to obey and to serve the Lord.  No servant is greater than his master.  But there is an all-sufficing consolation: though we must bear our crosses, ultimately, like Simon of Cyrene, we only find that Christ is the one to be crucified in our place.

The Apostle Paul made no attempt to deceive Timothy.  “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” he wrote (2 Timothy 3:12).

However, though Christians may suffer scorn like everyone else, and though our wounds may sting just as sharply, we have boundless hope and freedom and consolation in Christ, who is our victory and reward.

Though the world may mock our choices, we are neither shaken nor forsaken, because it is God’s pleasure that we seek.

Though the world may deride our weaknesses and insufficiencies, we are not downcast, because it is God who uplifts us and brings to fruition the feeble works of our hands.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.  Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves” (Psalm 127:1-2).

Though the man of the world only looks to himself and envies his neighbor, the man of God looks only to the Cross and is delivered.

When others look down on us, we look up to God who rewards each according to his deeds with treasures in Heaven.

Therefore, Paul also writes: “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.  And so through Him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God” (2 Corinthians 1:20).

If our calling is from God, then it is worthy; and if we faithfully answer it, we cannot fail.  As King Solomon wrote, “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.  The LORD works out everything for His own ends—even the wicked for a day of disaster.” (Proverbs 16:3-4).

Brothers and Sisters, let us have more faith then!  Let us put to death our fears!  Let the Lord take away our contempt and our vanity!  Let us not continue living as though we have no hope!  Let us be sober: we will suffer.  But let us rejoice, for in Christ, we already have life, and life everlasting!

As Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.  What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:24b-26).

Our hope is in Christ, called Immanuel, who is “God with us.”  Therefore, unlike those who abandon hope, we must hope with abandon, for God is with us and for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!

“What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32).

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices.  You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.  A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.  So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:20-22).

“Thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:57b-58).

Amen.

Tags: Christ, hope, ministry, reaping, sowing, weakness, weeping